incaenstrix | Tertia

incaenstrix

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From:

inkindled

Sort of the opposite for me. Andraste sounded a massive clag. I never liked her, even before I knew I was a mage.

From:

incaenstrix

[ This sounds INSANE to Tertia. ]

You never liked - How could you not like her? She's Andraste!

From:

inkindled

I didn't dislike her, or anything, it's only--I dunno. Everyone was always going on and on and on about her. Bored me nearly dead. I was small, though--and then I learnt I was a mage--so maybe if I'd heard more I'd've felt differently.

From:

incaenstrix

[ Boy you need to wise up. ]

I would think so. She was a slave, you know, who freed herself. And then you'd think, being free, she'd just go home - only she didn't, she raised up an army and marched on the worshippers of the Old Gods to punish them. That's as un-boring as you can get. Can you even imagine?

From:

inkindled

No, [honest answer,] I can't. Never really thought about any of it all that much, 'cos it always seemed like there was something more important happening.

From:

incaenstrix

Well -

[ Her voice gentling. ]

It does seem like you've had so much happening in your life. I can see why you didn't think about it. I can't even imagine everything you did have to think about.

From:

inkindled

[More suspicious (friendly-like suspicious) than annoyed--]

Are you having me on?

From:

incaenstrix

[ Hey man. ]

You mean am I making fun of you? No. What, are you saying you haven't done a lot in your life?

From:

inkindled

Oh. Well--yeah, I have, I s'ppose. Sort of. Not that much, maybe. Only so have you. More, I expect. So I didn't know if you weren't being sarcastic, like.

From:

incaenstrix

Oh - I really haven't. [ Shaking her head - but this is wry rather than miserable or self-pitying - ] Most of my life, until just a few years ago - it was all spent in the same square in Minrathous. I only left it to sleep and eat, and our quarters were only a thousand paces away. You traveled across Thedas.

From:

inkindled

Yeah, spent it in a shit tent in the mud or at the back end of a battlefield. I've been to Redcliffe, in the field in front of it. I were only an apprentice. I think sometimes I were more like a mascot, y'know? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like it when people think I'm big and important. I dunno that I actually was, or am. It's-- [unable to find the word or words for how it feels to be recognized (good) but embarrassed by the recognition and unsure you're due it, he makes a sort of ehhhh sound.] --like that.

And what's happened in between you in a square in Minrathous and you now, eh? I reckon those few years've been packed fair full.

Edited (fantasy spelling ) Date: 2023-04-05 04:20 pm (UTC)

From:

incaenstrix

[ A little too full. ]

You don't know if you're important now? Don't pretend you're modest.

From:

inkindled

No--I'm not pretending at anything-- I mean, all right, maybe a bit more, 'cos-- Oh, I dunno. Honestly, I feel like a right idiot these days.

From:

incaenstrix

[ This seems ridiculous to her. ]

Why?

From:

inkindled

[There's a moment of hesitation--but only a moment. Matthias can't not talk. He lets out a breath and launches in to it.]

I didn't tell you. But--you know how my staff broke, at Starkhaven? It was stupid. I tripped and broke it. So there was that. Now I'm here, not at the Gallows--not that I want to be, particularly--and I s'ppose it's sort of an honor, or something--but I know I'm not there 'cos I'd likely cock it up and say something to the Chantry mother--or do something--or, I dunno. I don't want to be there. I wouldn't want a stupid bloody Chantry mother to like me. I'm proud, a little, even, right? But I still feel stupid. And then--well, it's worse, and don't tell anyone, all right? Please? But Marcus Rowntree absolutely told me off after Starkhaven. Not even unkindly, but it happened and--and he was right, really, when I think about it--but I felt like absolute bollocks, Tertia, really I did. And I can't stop thinking about it. So there's all of that.

From:

incaenstrix

[ She listens to that thoughtfully. After a moment of quiet, she says - ]

I don't know if it helps. But I think he wouldn't have told you off if he didn't think highly of you. He wouldn't spend time to try to teach you unless you were worth teaching.

[ Does that help at all?

Oh, also - ]

I won't tell anyone, by the way. I promise.

From:

inkindled

Thanks. For not telling.

[His voice is wonky now because he has his cheek pressed to the desk he's sat at.]

Eurgh. D'you think so, really? About Enchanter Rowntree?

From:

incaenstrix

Of course! The other possibility is that he - oh, I don't know - likes making you miserable. And I don't think that's possible. He's so kind. So it has to be that he's probably putting stress on himself, and making himself anxious, to teach you.

From:

inkindled

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Mngf--

[Matthias rolls onto his face, flattening his nose and mouth and chin and all onto the desktop. His sigh comes out all squashy.]

Yeah. I hope that's it. I don't want to disappoint him--which is childish, really, I know--but I can't help it. I knew all about him before I joined up with Riftwatch. He's a proper hero. If he were sour on me, I'd pull my brains out my nose.

From:

incaenstrix

Don't be so mean to yourself.

[ Laughing, but with sympathy - ] I'd pull my brains out of my nose if I disappointed him, and I didn't even know he was a hero. I'd never heard of him before coming here. It's because he's - You know, because he's Marcus.

From:

inkindled

[With great understanding, and meaning,] Yeah. Because he's Marcus. Which makes it worse, nearly--if he were some terrible bastard, that'd be one thing--but he's got to be a hero and himself.

I do think you're right. About, y'know, him thinking well of me and wanting to teach me and all. Or I hope you're right, leastways--although he did say this thing about taking charge of education, so I think you might actually right be.

Have they got Enchanters that teach all the titchy apprentices, in Tevinter? I know there's loads of titles. The Altos and the-- L-ones--

From:

incaenstrix

Alti and Laetans.

[ She's still smiling, but she's just a bit more subdued. This is less lovely than, say, thinking about Marcus. ]

And yes, I think so. There were students that I knew. But I don't think it's like in the South, with Circles like they are here.

From:

inkindled

Yeah, them.

[Alti and Laetans. He'll likely forget again in a moment, but Matthias tries to stick the names in his head all the same.]

S'ppose it's all very different. 'Cos those titles really mean something different, don't they--and the Circles had titles, like, but they weren't invented by mages so they'd be sort of shit to keep using. We ought to make up or own. Mages, I mean. Not just you and me. We could, I s'ppose.