Tertia | inbox

[incaenstrix]

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[inkindled]

[There's a moment of hesitation--but only a moment. Matthias can't not talk. He lets out a breath and launches in to it.]

I didn't tell you. But--you know how my staff broke, at Starkhaven? It was stupid. I tripped and broke it. So there was that. Now I'm here, not at the Gallows--not that I want to be, particularly--and I s'ppose it's sort of an honor, or something--but I know I'm not there 'cos I'd likely cock it up and say something to the Chantry mother--or do something--or, I dunno. I don't want to be there. I wouldn't want a stupid bloody Chantry mother to like me. I'm proud, a little, even, right? But I still feel stupid. And then--well, it's worse, and don't tell anyone, all right? Please? But Marcus Rowntree absolutely told me off after Starkhaven. Not even unkindly, but it happened and--and he was right, really, when I think about it--but I felt like absolute bollocks, Tertia, really I did. And I can't stop thinking about it. So there's all of that.

[incaenstrix]

[ She listens to that thoughtfully. After a moment of quiet, she says - ]

I don't know if it helps. But I think he wouldn't have told you off if he didn't think highly of you. He wouldn't spend time to try to teach you unless you were worth teaching.

[ Does that help at all?

Oh, also - ]

I won't tell anyone, by the way. I promise.

[inkindled]

Thanks. For not telling.

[His voice is wonky now because he has his cheek pressed to the desk he's sat at.]

Eurgh. D'you think so, really? About Enchanter Rowntree?

[incaenstrix]

Of course! The other possibility is that he - oh, I don't know - likes making you miserable. And I don't think that's possible. He's so kind. So it has to be that he's probably putting stress on himself, and making himself anxious, to teach you.

[inkindled]

Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. Mngf--

[Matthias rolls onto his face, flattening his nose and mouth and chin and all onto the desktop. His sigh comes out all squashy.]

Yeah. I hope that's it. I don't want to disappoint him--which is childish, really, I know--but I can't help it. I knew all about him before I joined up with Riftwatch. He's a proper hero. If he were sour on me, I'd pull my brains out my nose.

[incaenstrix]

Don't be so mean to yourself.

[ Laughing, but with sympathy - ] I'd pull my brains out of my nose if I disappointed him, and I didn't even know he was a hero. I'd never heard of him before coming here. It's because he's - You know, because he's Marcus.

[inkindled]

[With great understanding, and meaning,] Yeah. Because he's Marcus. Which makes it worse, nearly--if he were some terrible bastard, that'd be one thing--but he's got to be a hero and himself.

I do think you're right. About, y'know, him thinking well of me and wanting to teach me and all. Or I hope you're right, leastways--although he did say this thing about taking charge of education, so I think you might actually right be.

Have they got Enchanters that teach all the titchy apprentices, in Tevinter? I know there's loads of titles. The Altos and the-- L-ones--

[incaenstrix]

Alti and Laetans.

[ She's still smiling, but she's just a bit more subdued. This is less lovely than, say, thinking about Marcus. ]

And yes, I think so. There were students that I knew. But I don't think it's like in the South, with Circles like they are here.

[inkindled]

Yeah, them.

[Alti and Laetans. He'll likely forget again in a moment, but Matthias tries to stick the names in his head all the same.]

S'ppose it's all very different. 'Cos those titles really mean something different, don't they--and the Circles had titles, like, but they weren't invented by mages so they'd be sort of shit to keep using. We ought to make up or own. Mages, I mean. Not just you and me. We could, I s'ppose.

[incaenstrix]

Like what?

[inkindled]

Erm. Gra-- [hang on, not grand] --eea. Great... Mage.

[incaenstrix]

[ She bursts out laughing. ]

For a moment I thought you were going to say grandmother.

[inkindled]

Ha ha. [though not really resentful] I'm not good at naming things, but I'm not that bad.

[incaenstrix]

I know! I know. I don't know why my mind went there. It just sounded like it.

[ Cheerful and happy: ]

Great mage is pretty good. Or what if we had names after specific animals? The Fox and the Bear and that sort of thing.

[inkindled]

That's not bad. They'd have to be the best animals, though. Fox and Bear and Wolf and... Lion, maybe. Things like that.

[incaenstrix]

Dragon might be a bit too close to the Old Gods.

[inkindled]

Ooh, yeah. We don't want that. Nasty. Ooh, but a quillback, though--those're a good sort of nasty, that might be good.

[incaenstrix]

What's a quillback? I've never heard of that.

[inkindled]

They're Orlesian. They're fairly massive--they look like they've been flayed, right, like they've not got any fur or skin or anything, just what's underneath all that--the meat--all out in the open. And they're colored like that as well, like meat colored. And then they've got this nasty little beak, like a bird--and then they've got these massive spikey quills on their back.

It's as I said. Nasty.

[incaenstrix]

Okay, well - you can have that rank.

[inkindled]

[He laughs.]

What--d'you think I'm that hideous!

[incaenstrix]

No, no!

[ Oh no. Even though he's laughing, she doesn't want to offend him by accident, or leave him wondering later if she meant something unkind. ]

You're very nice-looking.

[inkindled]

Liar! You think I look like a gigantic flayed nug stuck full've spears.

[incaenstrix]

[ Torn between anxious apology and helpless laughter: ]

No! I don't! You're handsome!

[inkindled]

[So serious he's obviously joking (and so joking he doesn't yet have time to get stuck on handsome)--]

A handsome gigantic flayed nug stuck full've spears, oo-er, lucky me. The best-looking gigantic flayed nug stuck full've spears. Which is sort of like being the tallest dwarf, innit.